Sometimes recurring dreams seen in the childhood get cemented in the memory never to go away. I cannot forget the outstanding Sea Beach House and its striking staircase that led to the second floor from the outside. A terrific memory of an awe-inspiring romance touches my soul and gets me carried away by a familial intense pleasure. Slowly, as I delve into the depths of memory a silhouetted male figure unravels. Gently as the colours of dark grey and black lift, I get a vivid splash of the dewy eyes in despair and emptiness. I drown in tears and wake up with an unknown pent of emotions, a heartache no one can fathom.
Feeling of helplessness surrounds me as I remember him in chaos, gloom and anguish. I could perceive he was all alone, it was getting cold and there was no one to hold. Though the feeling is intimate and existent I remember being just a spectator watching him. My mind suddenly goes racing, am I presently a different persona getting a glimpse of some past event? Though I don’t believe in past life experiences, yet I can’t deny the passionate love I can’t seem to forget. Is it the subconscious’ attempt to bring forth memories to communicate something that had been left unresolved? Is it the cry of a soul that my soul identifies?
I regret, why was he left to see darkness and rain, heartache and pain; nothing but only memories to restore? It hurts to say, harder to ponder how he reminds me of some glorious past while I am for him a sad story. I am falling apart as I see his soul in black abyss waiting for death’s blissful kiss. Was I reckless or did I have no control in life? A voice from my deep inside asks him, ‘Why did you trust life? Life is a fake dream while death is the reality. You trusted me and I broke you like crumbling up a precious piece of paper. Though time is passing by and instances in the memory are also fading away yet undeniably the freshness of your intense love retains its essence.
I know reminiscences don’t let you go either; you still burn & want to hold me once. As the dark defeated the light I could no longer be yours. My breath faded, my eyes closed, it was not in my control. Yes, his insatiable love still searches for me & touches my sub conscious level.
This article explains the harshness of sudden death. Death is a rude fact that everyone has to accept but it devastates those who are left. It portrays how personal grief is unique and shows when the mask falls off when all alone. Sometimes, time does not bring relief; mourning slowly pushes the other person into silence. Silence seeking death. Read this story which has an intense touch of romance & misery intricately entwined. The story is dark; it is up to you to find the light in it.
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